Today is my dear husband Ev Jackson’s birthday. When we married in 1968, we had no idea, how our love for each other could grow beyond the passion of young love and early commitment to the kind of love we know on our 85th birthdays. Ev married an “older woman,” by a month and four days. My birthday is June 25th (the best one, of course, exactly six months from Christmas) and his on July 29th. We were born in the same state, although miles apart, had both finished college in 1962, were young in our careers and expectations, and had similar experiences and talents and interests which brought us together. We were both musicians, Christians, conservatives, and sort of loners, with opposite characteristics– I’m a scattered spontaneous talker; he’s the quiet, logical, organized thinker.
Today we celebrate his birthday. He doesn’t want anything showy, never gives a hint for gifts, is content to go out to dinner with the family. He says, “It’s just a day,” while most people like to celebrate with hurrahs and special treats or gifts. He’s a “nothing special”, “no fuss” kind of guy, and will no doubt be slightly embarrassed when at lunch today, the life-enrichment activity people will fete him at lunch with a balloon and cookies, calling attention to himself in the lunchroom. At Glenbrooke, where we live, the first Tuesday of birthday months, the facility provides fee lunch for all and we share a huge Publix birthday cake with pictures and creaky-voiced singing of Happy Birthday.
Birthdays are times for reflection. Picture albums may be displayed, or “I remember stories” may be told. I celebrated mine by writing a book of poems, some old some new, and created yet another piecer of legacy. Someone might read it. Ev, will spend his day having breakfast out at our favorite cafe,and dinner at his favorite restaurant with the family. We’ll come back home for cake and presents, and he’ll be happy as he ever is when the fuss is over.
But I will remember the things we’ve done together as we circle the globe yet one more day in our long life together. We’ve taken care of parents and now a sibling when we were needed, we’ve finished impressive careers, we’ve raised successful children, we’ve welcomed granddaughters and seen them develop into amazing young women, we’ve attended more concerts than we can count, we’ve moved ten times, we’ve shoveled snow and retreated to air conditioning, we’ve been in hospital rooms as patients and visitors several times, we’ve served seven churches together, we’ve sung in choirs and choral societies in New York, New Jersey, Florida, Iowa, and at Saratoga Performing Arts Center, Tanglewood, the National Cathedral in Washington, and numerous concerts with the Boston Symphony, The Hudson Valley Choral Society Orchestra (founding members of the chorus), Olana Historical castle, The Space Coast Symphony Chorus, the Riverside Church Vernon Boushell events, and sung hymns and contemporary Christian songs at Covenant Church in Palm Bay. We’ve explored flower gardens together, spent some time with Amway, and done our best to serve others and enrich others’ lives.
He’s been the logical supporter, keeping me somewhat sane, through school contests and competitions, publications of newspapers and literary magazines, in proofreading my thirty-six books, and handling the Memoir sales for the four anthologies we done, and is taking on the fifth one in a few weeks. He keeps me on schedule, on budget, and is an encourager.
So today, we get to quietly celebrate his birthday. I’m sure there will be chocolate, lots of chocolate, and cards and modest gifts we think he might like. But mostly, he’ll be happy just getting together with family and hoping being in the spotlight for just this one day, won’t be too much “spotlighting.” After all, in his mind, it’s just another day!
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